"Supposed" to be.....
Okay, I like many of you, have an addiction- I can seriously say that someday there may be support groups for this addiction.... what is it you may be asking yourself- PINTEREST!!!! There are days Brian walks in the door after a long day of work, sits down at the table to eat the dinner that is sitting on the table, looks to me and asks- "did you find anything pinterest-ing today?" He thinks he is so funny (and don't tell him I said this but I do too:). A dear friend of mine said that she hates pinterest because it makes her feel like she can do anything- but the truth is, she can't. See what I mean, it is like a drug people- oh, but how I love it!!!
Among the many things I love to discover on pinterest one of my favorites are the quotes. I find some that are just hilarious that deal with basic mommy things, some that are so profound I am brought to tears instantly and some that just make me walk away, think about it and then return later to pin it on my "quotes" board after I have deemed it "pin-worthy". There was one particular quote that I recently discovered that brought me to tears. It was something so simple but on that particular sleep deprived day it hit me like a ton of Steve Madden wedges that had fallen off the top shelf at Macy's. It stung a little bit, left a bruise or two but man- was it a good find! Here is the quote, I hope you're ready:
Simple, right? I can honestly say this is something I have struggled with more as a mom than ever in my life! I know people say that the teenage years are the hardest- clearly these people who say this were not yet a mom! I think the reason it is so hard now is that I live not only with the "supposed-to-be" status of my self but I also carry the weight of my children and my husband (who, I realize, is big enough to worry about himself but I just do so don't judge!:~) I think about what I am supposed to be doing with them every hour of the summer day, I worry about what they are supposed to be accomplishing at every developmental milestone, I worry about Brian reaching his next goal in his training and how I can help him get to where he is "supposed to be" in his program. I worry about what I am supposed to be wearing when I go to PTA meetings, women's ministry meetings, dinner with my girlfriends, dinner with my husband..... how I am supposed to be a supportive friend, co-worker, daughter, sister.......what a sister is supposed to be, what the only daughter is supposed to be. You name it and I am sure that I have a "supposed-to-be" image in my head.
I am a born again christian- I love Jesus with all of my heart and I worship Him and serve him till the day I die. I had to say that because of what I am about to say.....(holding my breath because I am sure I will get some emails on this one:). Sometimes, I feel the pressure of what a woman of God is "supposed-to-be" even more than what a woman living in the world is supposed to be. You may be thinking, "of course you do- that is part of our journey as a christian woman. Hello, Kim! Haven't you read Proverbs 31 for pete's sake!!!!!!!" I am not talking about what God expects of us as a woman that is trying our hardest to follow Him. I am talking about what OTHERS are telling us about what God would want a woman to do. I am talking about the stereotype that the world and, dare I say it, other christian women (eeks!) put on other christian women. I know this is a hard subject but just being real (and for the record- I warned you a week ago!)
This has become more real as my children get older. What church songs do they know(this little light of mine or God of this city)? What memory verses do they know? What movies do I let them watch- or better yet, do I even let them watch movies! Organic or not? Free range eggs or not? Co-op milk and dairy or not? Homeschool or not? Spaghetti straps on Alex and myself or not. Skulls on the boys shirts and shorts or not? The list goes on and on and on. I am sure that even God himself get's turned around and confused in the dumb worries I have going on in my head. I know he has to laugh at me from time to time!
Goodness! I just wore myself out typing all of that!!
Here's where I am with this right now.... I want my daughter (and my boys as well but I am speaking about women today:) to grow up confident and in love with her maker. I want her to know what is right and wrong and that her Jesus loves her. I want her to know true joy every day- not just superficial joy but a joy that only comes when you are madly in love Christ. I know she will experience pain and heartache because the bible is very clear that we will experience troubles in this world (John 16:33) but I want her walk through them with true strength and dignity and grace and I pray that in the end she is able to look at me and say "my mommy taught me how to be a beautiful daughter of God and I know how to make it through to the other side!"
Yes, I have read Proverbs 31 (to answer pete's question from above:). I strive each and everyday to live out these verses but there is one that I cling to a little tighter than the rest. This verse is:
As I walk through the gates of heaven someday, I pray that when I look Jesus in the eyes He will laugh very loudly (because I know He probably wants to when He looks at all the silliness I worry about) and says "you are a beautiful daughter of the most high God and yes, Kim, you walked through your life with strength and dignity and joy in My name!"
So, all of you mommies out there and all of you beautiful daughters of God- Don't worry about the strange things that enter in your head that are not of God. Think on the things He has instructed us to think about (Philippians 4:8) and don't get caught up in all of the red tape some try to wrap it in. Live in Joy- and (as I tell our kids sometimes, remember, don't judge) tell all the haters out there to "eat it!"
Among the many things I love to discover on pinterest one of my favorites are the quotes. I find some that are just hilarious that deal with basic mommy things, some that are so profound I am brought to tears instantly and some that just make me walk away, think about it and then return later to pin it on my "quotes" board after I have deemed it "pin-worthy". There was one particular quote that I recently discovered that brought me to tears. It was something so simple but on that particular sleep deprived day it hit me like a ton of Steve Madden wedges that had fallen off the top shelf at Macy's. It stung a little bit, left a bruise or two but man- was it a good find! Here is the quote, I hope you're ready:
"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be."
Simple, right? I can honestly say this is something I have struggled with more as a mom than ever in my life! I know people say that the teenage years are the hardest- clearly these people who say this were not yet a mom! I think the reason it is so hard now is that I live not only with the "supposed-to-be" status of my self but I also carry the weight of my children and my husband (who, I realize, is big enough to worry about himself but I just do so don't judge!:~) I think about what I am supposed to be doing with them every hour of the summer day, I worry about what they are supposed to be accomplishing at every developmental milestone, I worry about Brian reaching his next goal in his training and how I can help him get to where he is "supposed to be" in his program. I worry about what I am supposed to be wearing when I go to PTA meetings, women's ministry meetings, dinner with my girlfriends, dinner with my husband..... how I am supposed to be a supportive friend, co-worker, daughter, sister.......what a sister is supposed to be, what the only daughter is supposed to be. You name it and I am sure that I have a "supposed-to-be" image in my head.
I am a born again christian- I love Jesus with all of my heart and I worship Him and serve him till the day I die. I had to say that because of what I am about to say.....(holding my breath because I am sure I will get some emails on this one:). Sometimes, I feel the pressure of what a woman of God is "supposed-to-be" even more than what a woman living in the world is supposed to be. You may be thinking, "of course you do- that is part of our journey as a christian woman. Hello, Kim! Haven't you read Proverbs 31 for pete's sake!!!!!!!" I am not talking about what God expects of us as a woman that is trying our hardest to follow Him. I am talking about what OTHERS are telling us about what God would want a woman to do. I am talking about the stereotype that the world and, dare I say it, other christian women (eeks!) put on other christian women. I know this is a hard subject but just being real (and for the record- I warned you a week ago!)
This has become more real as my children get older. What church songs do they know(this little light of mine or God of this city)? What memory verses do they know? What movies do I let them watch- or better yet, do I even let them watch movies! Organic or not? Free range eggs or not? Co-op milk and dairy or not? Homeschool or not? Spaghetti straps on Alex and myself or not. Skulls on the boys shirts and shorts or not? The list goes on and on and on. I am sure that even God himself get's turned around and confused in the dumb worries I have going on in my head. I know he has to laugh at me from time to time!
Goodness! I just wore myself out typing all of that!!
Here's where I am with this right now.... I want my daughter (and my boys as well but I am speaking about women today:) to grow up confident and in love with her maker. I want her to know what is right and wrong and that her Jesus loves her. I want her to know true joy every day- not just superficial joy but a joy that only comes when you are madly in love Christ. I know she will experience pain and heartache because the bible is very clear that we will experience troubles in this world (John 16:33) but I want her walk through them with true strength and dignity and grace and I pray that in the end she is able to look at me and say "my mommy taught me how to be a beautiful daughter of God and I know how to make it through to the other side!"
Yes, I have read Proverbs 31 (to answer pete's question from above:). I strive each and everyday to live out these verses but there is one that I cling to a little tighter than the rest. This verse is:
"She is clothed with strength and dignity and can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25
As I walk through the gates of heaven someday, I pray that when I look Jesus in the eyes He will laugh very loudly (because I know He probably wants to when He looks at all the silliness I worry about) and says "you are a beautiful daughter of the most high God and yes, Kim, you walked through your life with strength and dignity and joy in My name!"
So, all of you mommies out there and all of you beautiful daughters of God- Don't worry about the strange things that enter in your head that are not of God. Think on the things He has instructed us to think about (Philippians 4:8) and don't get caught up in all of the red tape some try to wrap it in. Live in Joy- and (as I tell our kids sometimes, remember, don't judge) tell all the haters out there to "eat it!"
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