Glitter and bangs
Okay, I know this title is probably as lame as the jacket I thought I so brilliantly made from a pinterest entry (another pinterest attempt gone so very wrong;0) but follow me on this.
When my niece, Emmery, stops by for her weekly visit after class it is common, and somewhat expected, that she plant her rear in a seat at the kitchen table and paint. Now, she doesn't paint large masterpieces or even my walls (which, if she ever offered I would GLADLY take her up on it...just kidding, well, kind of;0). What she does paint are beautiful memories in my heart and the heart of my daughter. You see, when Alex knows Emmery is coming she makes sure to get all of the nail polish in the house out and she begins to plan her attack- stripes, polka dots, little nail stickers, glitter- you name it and she can think it up. As soon as Emmery opens the door Alex knows that a nail-painting-good-time is about to happen. The boys pick up whatever they were doing at the table and make room for the artistry to begin.
Why is this such a big deal? Well, you see- Emmery is a 21 year old beautiful college student with a handsome boyfriend and a busy life. The fact that she still comes and hangs out with us is a miracle all in itself (and one I will someday morn the loss of as she grows up) but- the fact that Emmery allows Alex the moment of painting her nails however Alex chooses is rare. Not many 21 year old's are willing to walk around a college campus, go to work and hold her boyfriends hand with, let's face it, jacked-up fingernails of every color under the rainbow AND I can guarantee- glitter nail polish is ALWAYS involved! But, Emmery takes the bullet nearly every week and allows Alex this joy... I am quite certain this will be something we will laugh about 20 years from now as we eat a holiday meal together.
Emmery, with a massive smile on her face, asked me why my nails weren't painted so pretty and Alex said "mommy only lets me paint her toes". Let's face it- glitter nail polish doesn't say "I am responsible with your money" as I give my treasurer report at the PTA meetings- or so this has been my justification for a while now. I know, it's sad. And yesterday, when it came up, it hit me like a massive 2 ton load of bricks.... why in the world do I care!
The past few months have been a spiritual and emotional whirlwind for me. I don't know if it is a combination of the writings of Furtick and Hatmaker. I don't know if it is sitting in services the past few weeks learning more about the true Story of the bible and the faith walk countless visionaries had completed. I don't know if it is watching Downton Abbey and seeing the change the characters undergo and following their hearts despite the "supposed-too's" (I know, this is insane- but follow me here). I don't know if it is the different life experiences I have had over the past two years.... I am guessing that all of this has been a part of God's plan for my life.
Speaking more transparent than ever before, so watch out- I have been experiencing sadness, loneliness, feelings of betrayal, disappointment of myself and others, fear, self doubt, pride, anger- you name it and I can guarantee that I have felt it over the past two years.... guarantee it! But, here is the beautiful and somewhat magical part- with massive whirlwind I felt stuck in I realized something and in steps the beautiful footprints of my God (who was always present but I often made the poor choice of disregarding that presence). When I made the choice to realize the work he was doing in my life- circumstances changed.
I can say that I stand today a different woman, on the inside and outside. Now, I mean, I am the same woman I was but so much stronger. Stronger in my faith, my purpose, the vision God has engraved on my soul- all around mightier at heart. Oh my goodness- this has been the most painful transformation of my life. It is one that has seemed to have lasted FOREVER!!!
While watching my daughter and niece sit at my kitchen table painting each others fingernails all of the beautiful sparkly colors Alex has collected something hit me- through the aches and pains of life I am stronger. I do not make my identity out of what I ever expected myself to be or what others expect out of me. It is truly empowering to really and truly realize that!
Like the tattoo on my wrist reads- I am a mother of an exquisite and beautiful head strong little girl. I am a daughter of an incredible woman who taught me what true strength looks like. But most importantly- I am a daughter of the Most High God. I look at this inscription on my wrist now and it truly takes my breath away. When I wake up and when I lay down- I am his and I was designed to do his work- with sparkly nails or not;0) I was created to encourage my children to be the beautiful creatures God created them to be- with spikey hair or sparkly fingernails or mismatched socks. I was created to build up my husband and be the woman he deserves me to be.
So, this is a big year for me. I am running a half marathon by myself- not with my big brother and not with my husband- by myself with the strength and endurance God gives me as Hebrews 12:1 describes. I will encourage my children- with even more passion- to be exactly what God created them to be...not what I think they should be. I will love on and encourage my husband with every ounce of my being and as he crosses the finish line of the iron man I will kiss him in front of God an everyone.... And, in all of these situations I will wear bangs proudly (don't ask- I have a big forehead and now that bangs are back I will grab on to the opportunity I have had to wear my bangs proudly) and sport my multicolored or sparkly fingernails, and I may even add another tattoo or two... who know.
I will live a Romans 12:1 life:
When my niece, Emmery, stops by for her weekly visit after class it is common, and somewhat expected, that she plant her rear in a seat at the kitchen table and paint. Now, she doesn't paint large masterpieces or even my walls (which, if she ever offered I would GLADLY take her up on it...just kidding, well, kind of;0). What she does paint are beautiful memories in my heart and the heart of my daughter. You see, when Alex knows Emmery is coming she makes sure to get all of the nail polish in the house out and she begins to plan her attack- stripes, polka dots, little nail stickers, glitter- you name it and she can think it up. As soon as Emmery opens the door Alex knows that a nail-painting-good-time is about to happen. The boys pick up whatever they were doing at the table and make room for the artistry to begin.
Why is this such a big deal? Well, you see- Emmery is a 21 year old beautiful college student with a handsome boyfriend and a busy life. The fact that she still comes and hangs out with us is a miracle all in itself (and one I will someday morn the loss of as she grows up) but- the fact that Emmery allows Alex the moment of painting her nails however Alex chooses is rare. Not many 21 year old's are willing to walk around a college campus, go to work and hold her boyfriends hand with, let's face it, jacked-up fingernails of every color under the rainbow AND I can guarantee- glitter nail polish is ALWAYS involved! But, Emmery takes the bullet nearly every week and allows Alex this joy... I am quite certain this will be something we will laugh about 20 years from now as we eat a holiday meal together.
Emmery, with a massive smile on her face, asked me why my nails weren't painted so pretty and Alex said "mommy only lets me paint her toes". Let's face it- glitter nail polish doesn't say "I am responsible with your money" as I give my treasurer report at the PTA meetings- or so this has been my justification for a while now. I know, it's sad. And yesterday, when it came up, it hit me like a massive 2 ton load of bricks.... why in the world do I care!
The past few months have been a spiritual and emotional whirlwind for me. I don't know if it is a combination of the writings of Furtick and Hatmaker. I don't know if it is sitting in services the past few weeks learning more about the true Story of the bible and the faith walk countless visionaries had completed. I don't know if it is watching Downton Abbey and seeing the change the characters undergo and following their hearts despite the "supposed-too's" (I know, this is insane- but follow me here). I don't know if it is the different life experiences I have had over the past two years.... I am guessing that all of this has been a part of God's plan for my life.
Speaking more transparent than ever before, so watch out- I have been experiencing sadness, loneliness, feelings of betrayal, disappointment of myself and others, fear, self doubt, pride, anger- you name it and I can guarantee that I have felt it over the past two years.... guarantee it! But, here is the beautiful and somewhat magical part- with massive whirlwind I felt stuck in I realized something and in steps the beautiful footprints of my God (who was always present but I often made the poor choice of disregarding that presence). When I made the choice to realize the work he was doing in my life- circumstances changed.
I can say that I stand today a different woman, on the inside and outside. Now, I mean, I am the same woman I was but so much stronger. Stronger in my faith, my purpose, the vision God has engraved on my soul- all around mightier at heart. Oh my goodness- this has been the most painful transformation of my life. It is one that has seemed to have lasted FOREVER!!!
While watching my daughter and niece sit at my kitchen table painting each others fingernails all of the beautiful sparkly colors Alex has collected something hit me- through the aches and pains of life I am stronger. I do not make my identity out of what I ever expected myself to be or what others expect out of me. It is truly empowering to really and truly realize that!
Like the tattoo on my wrist reads- I am a mother of an exquisite and beautiful head strong little girl. I am a daughter of an incredible woman who taught me what true strength looks like. But most importantly- I am a daughter of the Most High God. I look at this inscription on my wrist now and it truly takes my breath away. When I wake up and when I lay down- I am his and I was designed to do his work- with sparkly nails or not;0) I was created to encourage my children to be the beautiful creatures God created them to be- with spikey hair or sparkly fingernails or mismatched socks. I was created to build up my husband and be the woman he deserves me to be.
So, this is a big year for me. I am running a half marathon by myself- not with my big brother and not with my husband- by myself with the strength and endurance God gives me as Hebrews 12:1 describes. I will encourage my children- with even more passion- to be exactly what God created them to be...not what I think they should be. I will love on and encourage my husband with every ounce of my being and as he crosses the finish line of the iron man I will kiss him in front of God an everyone.... And, in all of these situations I will wear bangs proudly (don't ask- I have a big forehead and now that bangs are back I will grab on to the opportunity I have had to wear my bangs proudly) and sport my multicolored or sparkly fingernails, and I may even add another tattoo or two... who know.
I will live a Romans 12:1 life:
"So here's what I want you to do. God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life- your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life- and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him." (The Message)
The offering may not be perfect in form or perfect in words but it will be an offering and one that I will gladly place at His feet. I will embrace everything God has for and everything he does for me and through me with a passion even I may not have seen yet... all the while, giving praise to my King and singing Hallelujah~
What does this year hold for you? What is your "glittery nails", "Glittery dress" "upside-down-multicolored leopard pants" or "bangs" moment you are ready to walk into- boldly, with the footsteps of God leading you?
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