Changing my prayer.
A new year has started~ For some of us this is an incredible opportunity for a fresh start. For others of us- it is a overwhelming time filled with doubts and worries of what is to come. I have to be honest- I am standing right in the middle of the two areas! Well, I am more on the side of the excitement for the fresh start but, pish posh:0)
Because I do have a little bit of that worry (totally a flesh thing) lying deep down about some ministry things that are on my heart I have caught myself praying somewhat selfish prayers. I am not going to give you all the gory details but you are just going to have to take my word for it.... Man, did I get a slap on the hand recently while reading one of my devotionals. Sometimes it seems that it is worse when it is a slap when you are all alone in the quiet moments- the sting is a little more fierce and the reaction can be slightly more raw as well... just being transparent.
Here it is-
Brian and I have made a commitment to ourselves and our little ones that we will devote time with them each day to read a story from the bible. I may have mentioned this in an earlier post but just bringing it home again. So, each night we all meet in Alex's bed (because her bed is the largest one upstairs) and settle in to read a children's version of the story about Gideon, Moses or some other name our kids can almost guaranteed mispronounce. Brasen is usually all ears (he is the oldest). Alex is the one sitting right next to Brian appearing to listen but she is just trying to make sure she has first dibs on turning the page. And then there is Elijah. Mercy!!! He is 2 and is VERY good at being 2. While Brian is trying his hardest to speak the word and truth to our children (without pulling his hair out in the chaos of the moment) Elijah is, more often than not, rolling around on the bed, sitting on everyone else and trying to pull the lips off the dog (who has climbed up to get her daily word as well, haha!!). After Brian finishes the story and asks some questions (to make sure they get something out of it) he says "okay guys! Who wants to pray?" Alex is in no way a "pray-out-loud" kind of gal right now. I am not pushing her- sometimes she surprises us (like on birthdays or major holidays) but for now she just isn't ready or willing to take the beating from Brasen for how she has chosen to pray for the wrong things (oh, the love between brothers and sisters!). Brasen takes the knee everytime and says "I will let Elijah do it" because he knows Elijah may scream if someone takes this moment from him. And Elijah, in the middle of pulling the dog's bottom lip over her eyes, stops in mid pull to declare "Me" as he is clasping his hands beneath his chin. His prayer lately has gone something like this: "and God bless daddy, mommy, brasen, alex, elijah, lexi (the dog with slobber on her eyebrow) and the Christmas tree." Elijah loved everything there is to love about Christmas so he is holding tightly to the memory of the tree! Can't blame him, can you!? Sparkly, over sized object which is usually an outside only kind of thing, covered in twinkling lights, ornaments that were made by everyone and the fat ceramic angel mom insists on putting on the tree each year. It's pretty and fun and full of memories....
My prayers are sadly similar sometimes. I hold on to memories- especially the pretty and fun ones. I hold on to the nasty ones as well sometimes but I am working on this. Far too often I find myself praying prayers that, in some form or strange fashion, lead back to those times and those memories. Either begging God to allow me make beautiful memories LIKE the ones I had before or to never experience situations that lead to the creation of the nasty memories. My prayers are sometimes coming straight from my head- but let me assure you, this is not where our prayers are to start.... at all.
God has given me a phrase this year that has given me so much peace- in my prayer life and in my day to day dealings as well. What is this magical phrase, you might ask? Here it is: "God, change my prayers."
After getting through the holiday scripture reads- you know, the ones about his birth that almost every preacher mentions during the month of December- I boldly read on. While reading in Matthew, mixed in with Jesus' teaching about giving to the poor, loving enemies, being salt and light and all of the beautiful things Christians should strive for each and every day Jesus teaches about prayer. And the amazing thing is- he doesn't just teach about prayer and the importance of it but he gives us a map, a cheat sheet, a diagram of how we should pray! Simply amazing and sooooo something he would do!
The traditional scripture is beautiful beyond words but I am going to give you The Message version just for kicks:
Because I do have a little bit of that worry (totally a flesh thing) lying deep down about some ministry things that are on my heart I have caught myself praying somewhat selfish prayers. I am not going to give you all the gory details but you are just going to have to take my word for it.... Man, did I get a slap on the hand recently while reading one of my devotionals. Sometimes it seems that it is worse when it is a slap when you are all alone in the quiet moments- the sting is a little more fierce and the reaction can be slightly more raw as well... just being transparent.
Here it is-
Brian and I have made a commitment to ourselves and our little ones that we will devote time with them each day to read a story from the bible. I may have mentioned this in an earlier post but just bringing it home again. So, each night we all meet in Alex's bed (because her bed is the largest one upstairs) and settle in to read a children's version of the story about Gideon, Moses or some other name our kids can almost guaranteed mispronounce. Brasen is usually all ears (he is the oldest). Alex is the one sitting right next to Brian appearing to listen but she is just trying to make sure she has first dibs on turning the page. And then there is Elijah. Mercy!!! He is 2 and is VERY good at being 2. While Brian is trying his hardest to speak the word and truth to our children (without pulling his hair out in the chaos of the moment) Elijah is, more often than not, rolling around on the bed, sitting on everyone else and trying to pull the lips off the dog (who has climbed up to get her daily word as well, haha!!). After Brian finishes the story and asks some questions (to make sure they get something out of it) he says "okay guys! Who wants to pray?" Alex is in no way a "pray-out-loud" kind of gal right now. I am not pushing her- sometimes she surprises us (like on birthdays or major holidays) but for now she just isn't ready or willing to take the beating from Brasen for how she has chosen to pray for the wrong things (oh, the love between brothers and sisters!). Brasen takes the knee everytime and says "I will let Elijah do it" because he knows Elijah may scream if someone takes this moment from him. And Elijah, in the middle of pulling the dog's bottom lip over her eyes, stops in mid pull to declare "Me" as he is clasping his hands beneath his chin. His prayer lately has gone something like this: "and God bless daddy, mommy, brasen, alex, elijah, lexi (the dog with slobber on her eyebrow) and the Christmas tree." Elijah loved everything there is to love about Christmas so he is holding tightly to the memory of the tree! Can't blame him, can you!? Sparkly, over sized object which is usually an outside only kind of thing, covered in twinkling lights, ornaments that were made by everyone and the fat ceramic angel mom insists on putting on the tree each year. It's pretty and fun and full of memories....
My prayers are sadly similar sometimes. I hold on to memories- especially the pretty and fun ones. I hold on to the nasty ones as well sometimes but I am working on this. Far too often I find myself praying prayers that, in some form or strange fashion, lead back to those times and those memories. Either begging God to allow me make beautiful memories LIKE the ones I had before or to never experience situations that lead to the creation of the nasty memories. My prayers are sometimes coming straight from my head- but let me assure you, this is not where our prayers are to start.... at all.
God has given me a phrase this year that has given me so much peace- in my prayer life and in my day to day dealings as well. What is this magical phrase, you might ask? Here it is: "God, change my prayers."
After getting through the holiday scripture reads- you know, the ones about his birth that almost every preacher mentions during the month of December- I boldly read on. While reading in Matthew, mixed in with Jesus' teaching about giving to the poor, loving enemies, being salt and light and all of the beautiful things Christians should strive for each and every day Jesus teaches about prayer. And the amazing thing is- he doesn't just teach about prayer and the importance of it but he gives us a map, a cheat sheet, a diagram of how we should pray! Simply amazing and sooooo something he would do!
The traditional scripture is beautiful beyond words but I am going to give you The Message version just for kicks:
"Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are,
Set the world right;
Do what's best-
as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselvs and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes! Yes! Yes!"
Matthew 6:9-13
Man, if our prayers- the prayers of believers- were anything like this the world wouldn't know what hit it. If our prayers were anything like this, satan would be running as fast as he could to get away (much like Lexi the dog does from Elijah). If our prayers were like this- our lives would most definitely be different.
I have to loose my agenda and pray God's agenda. I have to pray specific, bold and spirit led prayers instead of my own shallow (at times) prayers concerning my comfort level- OUCH!!!!!
So, there to you have. This may seem like a simple blog post this time but I cannot tell you how it is shaking my life up and knocking my socks completely off! Join me, this year. Read Matthew- I dare you. Read it in a way you haven't read it before. Some people start the year off reading the bible from front to back- old test to new test. I dare you to start with the new.
Happy New Year- may your prayers be changed and may your lives be shaken (and may you wear your sunglasses upside while you talk to God about your Christmas trees)!
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